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Everyone in this world has something what we called “Social position” – whether a reputation, an identity, a role they live with. 

Everyone wants to feel appreciated, admired, important, and needed.

Everyone want to feel they are making a difference, making impact in this world.

The easiest way for you to make enemies is when you threaten their social position, ignore them, make them feel useless, worthless, unimportant, and a failure.

In Today’s Design Impact Newsletter, I will share how YOU can build Connection, Cultivation, and Contribution in more meaningful way. 

Not based on how much money, power, title, education, backing, etc. that you have. But by something you can control – Your character and your attitude.

Before we start, I know that some of you might have your own opinion…

You see someone use influence in the wrong way… flatter you / fake support you, but stabbing you from the back. Seems very helpful, but actually only care about their own benefit, etc. These people might have impacted you in the past.

So you might be a bit skeptical with this concept… Thinking that influence is some form of manipulation, used by evil people to harm naive or innocent people.

BUT, starting from today onwards, tell yourself that you are different, choose to forgive, learn what not to do, and decide to influence in the right way, the healthy way, the beneficial way – that makes you get whatever your want and also help others to succeed in the same way you do. Promise yourself to do it for good.

Now, lets start…

Have you asked yourself today..

Do you give people good reputation to live up to, “The hard-working Jane, The organised David, The immaculate Mary, etc.”? or Do you constantly criticise or flatter them just to make them do what you want?

Do you make everyone who contact with you, become better than before, learning something new – do they feel appreciated, admired, important, and needed? or do they feel worthless and want to avoid you as much as they can?

Do you constantly give people credits they deserve, give them the opportunity to make impact, give them the visibility to meet with the right project / people / experience? or do you constantly dim other people light?

When you asked yourself these questions. You might remember a quote, “People will forget your title, power, etc. But they won’t forget how you make them feel.”

Starting from today onwards, don’t become a person who demand influence, demand people to listen to you, demand respect – But give it to others. Give it as much as you can, make everyone who interact with you better than before.

  1. The law of service is the key to success. The one profits the most is the who serves the best, give with sincere heart. Influence others to succeed as well.
  2. The law of abundance not on scarcity. Move from “Competition” to get visibility, to get credits, to get rewards – and start to “Create / Design” visibility, credits, rewards in abundance.
  3. The law of compensation, the law of reciprocity, the law of increase skills, experience, and wisdom – will work on you eventually.

How to respond to others intelligently?

Now, you might object this idea, “Hey Deby, why you only teach me to appreciate others, when they don’t care at all? I felt very hurt, unappreciated, oppressed, and negative. I don’t have influence, I can’t communicate, they don’t listen, etc.?” And any other objection…

You can’t change other people, but you can change your way to view things. The reason why you read this “Design Influence” newsletter is because you still hope you want to know how to influence and deal with your situation, isn’t it?

You hope you can better communicate, convince people regarding your value, your work, your worth, etc. So when you don’t get what you want, you have two options:

  1. Feeling sorry for yourself, and expect others to feel sorry for you. Continuously depending on other people validation.
  2. Become a person who learn to influence, overcome any challenges with willpower and determinations. Seeing the good within yourself, and see the good in others.

Willpower is the willingness to pay the price – no matter what it takes – in spite of every discouragement, you keep on trying, doing, asking, and improving. In sacrifice – in money, in time, in effort, in any way in which the price of success must be paid.

Nobody can defeat a person with determination, and the will to win. 
When there is a will, there is a way… If there is no way, you design the way.
Because you are the designer, with many amazing way. By creating your own way, now you are a leader who knows the way, create the way, and shows the way.

Even if you fail, to influence it is temporary, failing your way to success. You learn that people have different perspective, and you learn how to do better next time.

How to be more persuasive?

To increase your persuasiveness, you ask in a “Casual” pleasant-casual conversation. Don’t be aggressive, cross-examine, offensive.

  1. How can I do better? (Improve quality)
  2. How can I do more? (Increase quantity)

It’s a very difficult battle to become any leader by fighting your way to the top. It’s easier to be lifted up by others, influencing others, getting support, and making yourself easier to lift.

In any occupation, whether you are designer, developer, product manager, sales, marketing – even the C-level of the company – the ability to become a service, to communicate, to articulate, to share ideas, and to influence others are the keys.

So promise yourself that you will not spend time to criticise, finding fault, blame others – you will focus on improvement to become better version of yourself – learning impact and influence to do good in this world.

Thank you for reading. Don’t forget to like, share, subscribe, and most importantly Design Impact together. Hohoho… ❤️

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